From Smoothies to Opportunities

Life hands you different opportunities everyday; some are small while others are life changing. You just have to be willing to appreciate them for what they are and accept them.

Let me tell you about a time Jamba Juice presented me with such an opportunity.

It was a day like any other. People were coming in for their smoothie fix, I’d do my best to deliver a mouth-watering beverage, then they’d leave with considerably lighter wallets but happy nonetheless. The particular time of day I’d like to discuss, however, was a tad busier than usual so I wasn’t able to provide my typically amazing customer service due to the line. This was probably for the best in the long run because…well, just let me finish my story.

I remember one customer in particular because she had forgotten her keys initially and so had to come back to retrieve them. She was very grateful we had found them, as most individuals would be, so thanked us and left. Or so I thought.

A few minutes later the same woman returned and walked up to the register where she proceeded to stand and wait to talk to me. Please keep in mind that we were pretty busy at this point so I glanced over and smiled at her to let her know I saw her, but then continued taking orders.

That was obviously the wrong thing to do because she took that as a green light to interrupt the other customer and ask if she could give me her number.

I was baffled and just stood there with my mouth open because I had no idea how to handle this novel scenario I found myself in for a couple different reasons.

  1. She interrupted the other customer mid-order (who, by the way, was ignoring the exchange due to finding something very intriguing on the menu board to ponder).
  2. The lobby is FULL of people who weren’t expecting dinner and a show, I’m sure.
  3. Let me reiterate that this was a WOMAN, middle-aged at that, so cue the fact that I look like a pre-teen.

Now don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t care less about all that; but I had never been hit on by a girl and I’m pretty bad at getting hit on by guys even. Long story short —> awkward.

Meanwhile, I’m still just staring at her so she puts a folded piece of paper in front of me on the register, says, “just call me”, then leaves. I finish taking orders (trying to pretend like that didn’t just happen and that my face isn’t bright red as a result) and go to the back to chill for a second. The first thing my manager says to me is, “See, I told you that you looked like a lesbian.” Awesome. Thanks, Henry.

But wait, there’s more!

Eventually I opened the paper (because, well curiosity and that cat) and found what you would normally expect: a name and a number. But then I turned it over and written on the back was something along the lines of, “Hey you’re really cute. If you ever want to get into entertainment give me a call. $1000+ per night.” BAM! I’m thinking either stripper, prostitute, or escort and I really wanted to text her solely to find out which it was. But I didn’t because curiosity killed that cat and he’s just fucking dead.

My point is life presents you with opportunities all the time. Sometimes you take them and really benefit. And sometimes you take them and turn into a crack whore.

I’ll stick to smoothies.


Quack Quack

Spencer got ducklings. Let me tell you about them…

Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep

Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep

Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep

Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep Peep

No, they’re really not that bad (except when they run out of water, they let you know they require a refill). I can pretty much sleep through everything anyway and a little peeping isn’t going to stop that.

They’re freaking weird though. Cute also, but just weird. For example, have you ever tried picking up something with only two legs? Usually you’d grab right under the armpits but ducks don’t even have arms. And these ducklings still have wimpy baby wings so how the crap do you handle that? They won’t just sit in your hands either. No, they’re idiots and waddle right off . You have to kind of grab them around their necks to restrain the little buggers which just doesn’t seem safe, but that’s if you manage to catch them at all because they’re pretty quick. I feel like an idiot chasing them around their cage. It’s a freaking bird cage and there’s only so far they can go from my hand but it still takes me a good couple of minutes.Granted, some of that is probably because I was scared they would bite  chomp nip? me which also makes me feel like an idiot because first off they don’t have teeth and secondly they’re tiny pipsqueaks and it doesn’t even hurt. Like not at all.

They also poop a lot. Almost constantly. Spencer wants to make them duck diapers (just one of the many uses of Pinterest) but until then it’s either follow right behind them with a poop towel or keep them in their cage. Obviously, she chooses the cage. Which is good for the ease of clean-up but bad for the smell. They also smell. A lot. Geez, tiny ducklings, my brother doesn’t even leave that bad of a smell in the restroom (and let me tell you folks…whew).

When they are allowed out, though, it’s super cute. So Pocoyo is the smaller of the two but he is the ring leader. Pato mindlessly follows the little guy around and absolutely FREAKS OUT if you separate them. You think they’re loud  normally but upset Pato and you’ll be lucky to get your eardrums through that experience intact. He’s starting to honk too, Peep > Honk.

Tyche loves them though. I was a little worried at first that she would, you know, try and eat them but she just wants to play! Pocoyo doesn’t really mind her but Pato runs away like a little baby. Come on, it’s just a cat five times your size charging you. Grow a pair. There has only really been one hiccup with the cat/duck dynamic. I was videotaping the cuteness and Tyche must have used her claws a little bit because Pocoyo flew up in the air about half a foot, peeped like crazy, and then waddled away to safety (Spencer). Needless to say I will not be putting that video online for fear of looking like a duck murderer…

All in all, the ducks are cute little babies and I’ll be sad once they’re big enough to go to Spencer’s friend’s farm. But they’ll live a happy ducky life and I’ll enjoy them until then.